Golden Press

#AugustWritingChallenge – Day 5 – Faith

Yesterday I floated on a river in a black tube. I was in Blacksburg, Va. I was in a free world fighting the river thinking the shallow 2-3 feet water would consume me. A guy floating in his tube along with his girl yelled out, “Just let the river take you.”

I had to remind myself to stop fighting nature. To stop fighting something that felt natural.

I didn’t grow up in a church, but I always had the idea even at the age of 6 that God existed in some form of another. There was something greater than me. A spirit guiding me. No matter where I’m at in life or where I have arrived he/she is with me.

Lately, I have been wanting to take a break from this career choice I debated right before graduating and develop a stronger relationship. I want to go on a spiritual journey that really has nothing to do with goals, ideas, or money.

I want to go with myself and God on a journey that allows me to create a relationship where I meet faith. I have been wanting to take a break. I think I need a break from the day-to-day routine of life.

But where do I start. Do I start at home. Do I do some missionary work. Do I go and volunteer. Do I go to a foreign land to learn a new language and seek an awakening.

In all, I do not believe this is some religious calling, but I do believe something has been trying to draw me to my true purpose in life. I want to know before it’s too late. I want to know before the loans kick in and I have to face reality.

Something stronger than my ambitions has told me to take a minute. To not take a job. To go somewhere and discover something new. To go somewhere and I will be financially secure. I’ll be a stronger human. I will have a creative break through. I will meet my purpose. I will find love. I will get my heartbroken. I will have to face my truth. I will be wiser. I will be smarter. I will begin to become this woman I have envisioned. I will be a new person.

Something has been calling me. Something has been pulling me. Something has been challenging me to step out and just go. Just go! But I have been debating. I have been ignoring the voice. I’ve been throwing pity parties for myself. I’m afraid to just go. I’m afraid I will fail. I’m afraid it will be too late to return to a career that will allow me to become successful in my own light. I have said no. No, I will seek a job first. No, I will work on my craft first. No, I will learn more first.

The voice has said no, you will learn there. You will learn more than what your purposed ideas will allow.

Maybe I’ve been called to meet faith a little earlier than my journey.

Who knows I could just be making this voice up so I can run from the idea of facing reality. Run from my new responsibilities as I enter adult world. Who knows I may just think my talents aren’t that great so I am searching for things to do. Perhaps I’m just putting the growing pains off in search for a “hippie life.” Honestly, I just don’t know.

Maybe my Eat, Pray, Love is my way of running from the adulthood I’ve entered. And I’m trying to convince myself that it’s faith calling. God whispering through my dreams of another journey for me.


August 6, 2012 - Posted by | Fun, Fun Topics

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