Golden Press

December Challenge Day 15

I must admit I’m not getting too far in my reading pursuit of the mystery book I mentioned a few weeks back. There’s been many distractions in my life. The burning sensation to succeed and wrestling with the decision to reach out to some people I told myself I may never need. Don’t burn bridges, that is how the saying goes…… Also, an opportunity may be on the horizon and if I had only waited a few months I could have an all expense paid trip to a place I have only thought about in my imagination. So much is happening around me I can’t help, but be excited.

I must too remember that I’m still here today. I am still alive now. There’s no reason while I should not spend 10 minutes heating up my grandfather’s dinner (who is so far gone in memory I doubt he remembers he has kids), take time out to talk to my father (we do live in the same house), or spend time with my niece. Oh! I have missed so much.

I’m exhausted some days. My feet ache from the excess weight I put on them while ringing up customers (who just can’t help but spend money on themselves, family, friends, and etc.). My brain flirts with the idea of walking out (a job that I am so grateful to have). I push on. There’s no reason to whine or cry over things you can’t control. And finally I can admit I have a control issue. I am addicted to the outcome of my situation and so delighted when it turns out better than I expected. I should just let things go and live. I should put worry aside and bury any guilt that sits inside me. I should just live my 20’s how I see fit. I should just take my chances as they come. I should recognize an opportunity without it saying opportunity. I am seeking this, this week. The ability to let all be and see clearly. The ability to be……….


December 16, 2012 - Posted by | December Challenge

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